one strange relationship

i met him sometime 2009
he was the type of person whom you'll  think as snobbish

i felt that he’s like a woman trapped in a man's body
not that he's gay  or  bisexual because i know damn well that he's not. 
but he is just way  tooooo meticulous to be a man.

we are two different souls  that ended up in each other's arms
people know that we are friends- yeah that's what they thought.
yet, they rarely see us together 
and in reality, we'll  actually have late night coffee sessions
we'll spend breakfast, lunch and even dinner
we'd smoke or drink some
but  hell! nobody knows it except the two of us..
hmm sounds like a kept woman but definitely, NO IM NOT.

occasionally, he'll come to my one- room apartment
we'd talk about things, anything under the sun-  sounds cliché? yes
he's the type of person who likes to talk about himself- NARCISSISTS? 
I dunno, perhaps, perhaps perhaps
Its all about his accomplishments, his work, some friends but never about his family 
and i didn't dare ask why he never shared that story.

he said he didn't believe in love
he always say that he is so busy with work
that i doubt... cause he has some spare time for me
or should i say that once in a while he devoted his time
to be with me.,, to feel the warmth that i could give. 

we are like kindred spirits

two people that’s so scared to be tied up

we are alike in some ways or another

the same reason we are making this work

its like having a boy friend literally and figuratively

But once in a blue moon, i want to end this one strange  relationship
my diploma is  enough proof that i am and should be an intellectual person
reality tells me otherwise. i am a fool,,, a complete fool.
surely i am not dumb but i never had the courage to end my foolishness,

I am obsess with love as i am allergic to it,
and this is what I called an irony.